Fall

As the leaves begin to fall (in all other places beside "no-season California") I am reminded that I am approaching the close of another year. Another year older, another 365 days gone to memory and another 365 in cubicle hell. There seems to be a shift in the season here, the blazing heat of a delayed summer seems to have caused people to wake up and react. We may not having falling leaves in California but people are sure falling out of this job. And I find myself stepping forward in line awaiting my turn to leap off the branch. Falling is such an interesting and exhilarating experience. In the beginning you feel that you have just made a huge mistake. You hear your voice screaming inside of your head and then realize you are also screaming out-loud. You panic thinking that you are surely headed toward impending doom and then suddenly you feel this sense of calm. You realize that no matter how hard or scary the impact, that you knew exactly why you took this leap and that you are going to be okay. That sense of falling rejuvenates each and every cell and the pumping adrenaline gives you new life.

You begin to recognize that you are in control of this fall and you are definitely ready to prepare yourself for the landing. Now landings are tricky things because you have so many options. As you hover over the ground you begin to consider all of your options. You could land behind the lens of a camera, at a writing desk, in a foreign country and you realize that these are all fantastic options. You begin to weigh the options of each landing and know that no matter which one you choose, you are going to stick this landing. You may wobble and your heart may be racing but you are prepared for each of these. And so as you soar closer to the ground you have to ask yourself, when I land, will I be proud of my journey? And when you feel proud then you know you are on the right path.

For me, my pride is injured and limping and one of my wings is faltering but I know that with this changing season I am beginning to see the ground more clearly and that even this stumble was part of the path. All I hope is that before I make that final landing I can kick that damn company hawk that injured my wing in the freakin' face!