Leap of Faith

Ok, here we go. It's just a one....two....

How do you decide the right moment to jump. To take that existential leap of faith and fly out into the foggy horizon. I read something recently that said that risks were scary, they had to be. If they were a piece of cake, everyone would be taking a slice. And as I sat there with my shivering cold feet backing out of my one moment, I realized that those words were exactly what I needed to hear.

You see, I am quitting my job tomorrow. On a rainy, gloomy Monday morning I am marching into a building I have been walking into for two and a half years and proclaiming that I will be leaving. There are so many reasons behind this but by far the largest most powerful reason is that I have lost myself. I don't know when or how it happened but suddenly my life became filled with reviewers and contracts and less with writing and photography.

And the day I realized this I began to wonder, when do we decide to put ourselves away in a drawer in favor of slacks and a name badge? When we are kids we are told to "dream big" "reach for the stars" "follow your heart" and then suddenly in our 3rd to 4th year of college, corporate America comes rushing in with sharp suits and large paychecks and says "forget those childish fantasies, come away with us where everything is gray and drab, where you can be a responsible adult." And somehow that pitch convinces us all. We stick it out for the security and the "right thing to do" we put away the adventure, the risks and we tell ourselves that we are big kids now and our responsibilities come first. Then in the darkness of a movie theater or buried deep in the pages of a novel, we slowly open those drawers again let our sparkly daydreams come out and flit about around our heads.

Enough is enough. No more secrecy, no more waiting until tomorrow or the next day for the easy path into happiness. It is time to leap into the dark and firmly seize the happiness that I want. No one else can create that destiny for me. And if I don't reach of and grasp it now, I may never get the courage again.

So wish me luck tomorrow and evaluate if you too need to take a second look at the leap of faith that you could make for yourself.